بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I met a relative today with whom we shared a specific discussion together a couple of times, her daughter and my son. They are both introvert, it took us some reading and analysing situations to realise that. She is an extrovert herself. However, I have been an introvert myself, as I’ve changed a lot,, and I changed when I had to travel abroad to study. I still believe I am an introvert in nature but I adapted myself to be able to manage different situations with different qualities, why did that happen?
It all started as a girl in school who hated herself for being such an introvert (not realising at that time it is normal and it’s perfectly acceptable). You see, it is absolutely difficult to be an introvert in a society that is too loud. A society that an extrovert is popular between peers, teachers and relatives while an introvert is considered nerd, a person with low self esteem and weak. I would spend my time reading in a society that didn’t appreciate this kind of activity. I was very analytical and curious about learning. Thus I didn’t enjoy the conversations my cousins had those days,, and enjoyed listening to adult discussions on bigger matters; politics, books, life in general. I guess this made me a boring person to be spending time with. I did attempt few times to act differently,, but it just wasn’t me and I hated it. At some point of my life I was even hoping I will not have introvert children so they won’t pass through those painful experiences I had to go through.
Thinking back on my childhood, I wish I didn’t feel so bad about myself. I wish I knew this is fine and that I was gifted in many ways instead of wasting my energy on those thoughts. I wish I knew that my personality made me a quiet person but a reflective one with strengths. It made me better in achieving my goals and focus on them.
The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.
My turning point was when my son , now seven, started school at four years old. I saw myself in him. It was hard for him to mingle with the other children especially the loud ones. It is hard when teachers are changed. He prefers to be alone in family gatherings or stick to one or two cousins he is comfortable with. I saw myself in him when he takes his books everywhere so he can ignore the rest of the kids and focus on what he loves. He talks about science when other kids talk about football games. Few people and teachers appreciate his personality and saw his potentials and those people leave good impression on him.
In our culture, a boy must be social in social gatherings, greets adults and spend time with them. I get some comments on my child being too isolated and he has to be tougher etc etc.. I know that he has the qualities that will make him a better person than just being like what other’s want him to be like.
I am blessed with knowledge now,, the knowledge that comforts me and help me to embrace his personality
My relative advised me to get this book that helped her in understanding her daughter. I am glad we have the power of learning so we can be better in accepting others and accepting ourselves.
Do you have an introvert child?